Conversation with god

Ok I know my blog has too many poems but I cant help it..i just love writing poems.. :)

Here is another one..I just closed my heart and the words started to flow on their own..So this is a poem from my heart with no help from my brain at all.. ^_^

In the distance

I could see,

a soul was walking

towards me.

As it came near

it grabbed my hand,

and took me on a journey

to a foreign land.

A land so twisted

I wanted to scream,

I wanted to wakeup

wishing this to be just a dream

But nothing I did seemed to help,

the soul took me deeper and deeper

it took me to an abandoned house,

where I believe people once dwelled

there was broken furniture all around,

blood on the walls and on the ground

as I entered a room I was shocked,

in a bloody cradle,i saw a teddy with its head chopped off.

I stood there aghast

I was blank as a rock,

who could do such a thing?

If not for devil himself.

With tears in my eyes

and with little courage left inside

I dared to ask the soul,

what evil has sent this family to the other side?

With questions running in my head,

without waiting for an answer I asked again,

what horrid place have you brought me to?

What I see, do you see it too?

Calm as a spring time breeze

the soul looked at me and said,

this my child,

is the future of mankind.

What?I was shocked,

tell me who are thee I asked

I know you are not just a soul,

you are something much more

I am the sun,the soul replied

I am the moon,I am a flower in its full bloom,

I am Buddha,I am Ram,I am Jesus and Allah,

I my child,I am God

This must all look so queer,

you may wonder why I got you here,

but its just not you,I have come in everyone's vision,

and showed them how this world was moving towards destruction.

For ages now,

men have fought over me,

claiming my one name is grater than the other,

and have landed themselves in this catastrophe,

You go to temples and churches in search of me,

you search for me in every part,

but why don't you just close your eyes and look inside,

I am present in every heart.

I wanted to ask so much more,

but at last,I found myself on the bedroom floor,

was this just another dream?

Or was this the harsh reality?

War is not the answer we seek,

its meditation, which will lead us to peace,

so,now every time I close my eyes and look inside,

I find God sitting right beside.

Willing

Human life so often seems to be a pendulum between willfulness and willingness.  Slight and huge difference.  Will-full is that place where I am sure of what should be done.  I am an expert, I am full of confident knowledge and experience and therefore it follows that you all should listen to me and acknowledge my righteousness.  It rarely works.

Willingness is that empty mind of surrender and listening.  That place where I am open to hear you, not tell you about me.  It is a place where fear has no grip, and love makes life like teflon and we all slide and giggle as if on a glorious hill of snow.

Mindful of compassion and doing no harm are good markers on the path, good walking sticks to take with me.  At the same time I reach for the hand of the person next to me, the Lord next to me and like wonderful ever-present parents, they lift me up and swing me in complete joy.

The Big Joy in Small Things

A glass of  lassi in Navratna Le Royal Meridien Chennai costs around 105 bucks..you have India s top chefs working their ass off to make that one perfect glass of lassi..Then the glass is 

decorated and brought to you..you take a sip and you are like.."Umm,Nice..but not what I was looking for"...A glass of lassi in anna lassi shop(A small shop near Richie street) costs 11 bucks..You have just one guy who turns on his traditional lassi machine to make you a glass of lassi..Then the glass is tossed at you..You take a sip and you are like..".....".. speechless..The Lassi is so amazing that you cant leave the place without having another glass..amazing..it has the most authentic taste of lassi..And to top that the guy adds a little homemade makkhan in your glass..yummmm...Its a very small shop but the food Items they serve are outta this world..Kachori,samosa,pattis,gulab jamun,rabdi and many more things..one bite will take you on a trip to the flavors of the north..Roadside junk..thats what people call it..I tell someone that I ate in taj and that person is like.."wow..You should take me also there once" but when I tell the same person about this roadside shop..his face drops..he gives me a nasty look and walks away..Why don't people understand that small places like these can give you pleasures that no big place can.. Its fun to eat roadside..Its fun to eat with your hands rather than looking at some waiter who would be happy to spit in your food if given a chance..Roadside..I just love that word..I feel like using it again and again..People say life is short..but to me life is big..and we should make use of this big life and enjoy these smaller things in life rather than living a routine life..bunk your college or work one day and go for a drive..just you and yourself..go to places you have never been before..eat the hot pagodas they sell on the beach..go to a village(there are many villages near chennai)and teach the kids there the importance of ABCD(ABCD..again is a small thing to us but means a lot to that kid)..Gift the children there a small 2 rupees pencil and a 10 rupees book and see the priceless smile on their faces..These small actions can make a big difference..And thats why with a big smile on my face and a anna lassi shop kotcori in my hand I name this post..The Big joy in small things.. ^_^

ok I am Typing in the smallest of fonts avilable on blogger(its a shame..yahoo has smaller) yet I am pretty sure that you are reading this part of my post with more concentration than the part above..yeah??Thats my point..Just start enjoying the smaller things in life..and Have a big smile on your face.. 

The Big Day

Remember the days when we go for shopping and these little kids come up to you with ear buds or packets of pocket calenders and say"vangiko sir..anj ruppa da.."and we in return look at them and say"kash illa tambi munnadi po"..and after saying this we walk away with the kids right behind us giving their best..persuading us in every possible way to get us to buy whatever they are selling..Its not like we don't want to help them but 20 kids every 5 minutes come and surround you..It gets annoying..so now ou all will be wondering why in the name of lord am i talking bout these Vendor Kids(wow cool name..sounds like a super hero..Vendor Kid)..anyways..yeah..The only reason is that..I was "Vendor Kid" yesterday(01/28/2009)..and so was the rest of the Yes!+ gang..We were all given 50 Guruji calender each and asked to sell em at the venue..The task Seemed pretty simple..come on how hard was it going to be to sell 50 calender of Guruji??It seemed as easy as selling Hot pancakes..But It was not..I reached the venue at 2:15 or so..Arpeet and Niranjan were already there..so we set up a Yes!+  stall..no exactly set up but we kept our bags on the tables of one of the stall and "reserved" it..Then we got talking and explored the venue till the the time arpeet remembered that we had no Yes!+ registration forms...we me and arpeet went to a browsing center(with hardly 15kbps speed) and took a print out of the form..got it xerox ed and returned to the venue to watch Niranjan catch hold of all Yes!+ members asking them to get busy and start selling the calenders..well me being my normal lazy self went behind the registration desk and told Niranjan that I had to set up the Yes!+ video..I gave my 100% to start the video..took my time..Opened it with every possible media player on my notebook..was "fine tuning the sound"..Did every possible thing to stay under the shade and avoid the sun with 50 calenders in my hand..Things were going according to my plan..Niranjan dint ask me to sell the calenders thinking I was busy..I was happy..Till the point Guilt took over me..Everyone was selling their share of calender and me just sitting and doing nothing..All the money earned by sell the calender was going to go for a noble cause and it pricked to know that I was doing nothing for the cause..so I went up to Niranjan and asked to give me my roll of 50 calenders..I was ready..I took the calenders ditermind to sell them all..I went up to people and started asking them..At first It seemed weird..you know walking up to people and asking them to buy calenders..But that was my job and I had to do it..So Here I was standing on the road getting hold of some random person and telling " Excuse me sir,Guruji calender,Rs 20 only" and In return getting looks from people..It was almost as if I could read their thoughts"My God!! Look at these Vendor Kids..They now know English"..Disappointed but still determined i continued my work..I went to the location which I thought was perfect only to find the MOP gang standing their and selling their share of 50 calender..and there I was lost in thoughts again"Thats it..no calender sales for you buddy..why would anyone buy calenders from you when a bunch of cute girls were selling the same calenders right beside you..People would obviously prefer these girls over some crazy looking guy?(yeah my hair was a total mess yesterday)"But I was tired and dint want to walk again..so I stood there asking people the girls missed if they would like to buy a guruji calender..I got all kind of answers.."No beta..I already have may calenders in my house,Ill buy one on my way back home,No thank you,Keep up the great work,no calender but which way is the venue??"after 2 hours of asking  I managed to sell 15 calenders..which I thought was the best I could do..so went up to niranjan told him I sold 15 and handed him the 300 hundred bucks...The program had already started..There were kids singing something..then there was someone talking something in tamil(something because I cant understand tamil that good so dont know what he was talking about)..so I went back to selling my calenders..People were getting restless..but at around 7:30 Guruji entered the venue and the atmosphere just turned clam..Everything was peaceful..I felt this wonderful feeling growing inside me..So I kept down my bag of 35 calender and sat down listening to guruji talk..Guruji s voice is like magic..It relaxes you but at the same time gives you so much energy you start thinking you can go carry a elephant on your shoulders..the talks and the meditation went on for around 2 hours..and the time just seemed to fly by..25 minutes of meditation felt like just 2 minutes with my eyes closed..truly amazing..The Q & A had English and Tamil questions.. and there was this one question that grabbed my attention.."Guruji there is so much corruption in the Indian politics..why don't you start a AOL party?together we can clean this corruption.."to which guruji replied that the youth has to join hands and do something for the Indian Politics..Which to me seemed like the perfect Idea..Then Guruji asked everyone to do seva attest once a month and see the difference it makes..guruji started the satsang at 9..Only 2 songs were played cause it was getting late..People started walking out towards the end of the program..which I thought was rude..cant you people wait for another ten minutes??Is it so important to reach home by 9:30??..anyways..So there I was back to my "Vendor Kid role"..Have you noticed that after guruji s Talks You don't feel like talking..you just want to remain silent..so I just stood there with one open calender...not saying a word...But to my surprise..People came up to me this time..they bought 5, 4 ,3 as many calenders they could..and in the next 10 minutes I sold 67 calenders..I returned the money to Niranjan and stated helping Amit with his calenders..It was so much fun..We were yelling.."calenders...guruji calenders..only 20 bucks..get your calender today.."...we managed to sell 10 calenders..the venue was pretty much empty by then so there was no point in walking around anymore..so amit handed over his remaining calenders and cash to Niranjan..and we got talking..It was so much fun..Met many new people..well not new to yes!+ but new to me..Then i Met Dr.Tarun bedi ^_^..and we got talking..the whole hindi gang got together and we were talking for hours..at 10:45 we decided it was time for us to move..At distance i saw Tarun bhiya and ankita arguing with a auto guy in hindi..so I went up there and started bargaining in the little tamil that I knew..It was of no use..so we decided to go to the main road and catch an auto..I had come on my bike so tarun bhiya asked me to drop ankita and he went home by bus..at got back home at 12:30..Tired and with a feeling of accomplishment..It was such a memorable day..Yesterday Truly Was a BIG DAY....

*I am Sorry for my bad Tamil Grammar..

**For those Of you who dont Know Tarun Bhaiya..Get To Know him..amazing guy

Lets cook-I(Cottage Cheese Pie)

"Hungry...very hungry..must eat something"That was my condition yesterday..I was very hungry but had nothing to eat..so I decided to pull up my sleeves and cook something for myself..and the dish turned out pretty well...so thought I should share the Recipe..Cooking has always been  my passion..so ill be posting more of my recipes..nah.."experiments" here on my blog.. ^_^

Ok so coming back to yesterday..as I said before..I was very hungry, mum was out and the Saarang tickets had left a big hole in my wallet..so I started scanning my kitchen for something That I could use for cooking...after 3 minutes of scaning I found...Nothing..And when hungry those 3 minutes can feel like an eternity..ok..I was really irritated..so I was like ok fine..I guess its Diet for me today(which I really dont need or ill disappear).Disappointed I turned on the TV..The whole world to me looked like this place filled with big nasty fat people who get to EAT..you know Its amazing..whenever you are in a bad mood and you decide to watch the TV to lift your mood..There Is nothing on..nothing..ok at this point you will be like.."how can there be nothing?"..My answer..those pathetic good for nothing Hindi soaps are Nothing to me..Junk..its like I am looking at a Blank TV screen..Anyways..I was really tired as well so I turned off the TV and was ready to go to  bed when the bell rang..And to my surprise..My grocery guy was at the door with...DuH..Grocery..so I just pulled the bag from his hands,Paid him and started scaning the bad..at last..found something...cottage cheese(not the chunks but the cream)..At that point I was tired no more..My Stomach was providing my body with this immence ammount of energy which could keep me awake for hours..My stomach was motivated..So it was Cooking time..ok so here is the list of all the ingridients you will need to make a cottage cheese pie..

1 1/2 cups Creamed cottage cheese

4 tbl melted butter

1/2 cup sugar

1 tbl flour

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cups chopped nuts

1 lemon ring(grated)

1/4 cup milk

1 tbl baking powder

How to cook :

Press the cheese through a sieve 2 times.
Add the butter, sugar,salt,flour,lemon rind,chopped raisins,nuts,baking soda and milk.
Stir well.
Fold into cheese mixture.
Bake in moderately hot oven (400 degrees) for 30 minutes or until browned and firm.

Finally..One bite And I was Alive once again..The pie turned out amazing..or just ordinary and tasted good because I was really Hungry.. but one thing .. It was surely better tasting than the towel that I was planing to eat.. ^_^

Happy Cooking

The Right Path!!

I was lost

In the ocean of thoughts

I dint know what to do

People killed

people drowned

there was pain and suffering

all around

I wanted to yell,

I wanted to shout,

All I wanted  was,

to reach out

But my personal life kept

getting in my way,

I could help,or study hard

and become a big man one day

I was lost

In the ocean of thoughts

I dint know what to do

But one fine day

I came across this holy saint,

Sri Sri was his name

His words of wisdom

filled my heart with joy

and that was the day,

I opened my eyes

How can I live a normal life

when a bus was blown to pieces in the night

enough is enough,I had made up my mind

It was time for me to do,What was right

I did SEVA and SADHANA everyday

And its because of this,

I feel proud to say,

"YES!I am the youth of today"

A date with myself

1st december..Its the day when we sleep all day..The only thing running or head is "i must not sleep.must stay awake at 12..and...call..bla bla bla...I must call bla before bla calls me up to wish me.." and then we call up our friends and make plans to go to a place where we can party all night get drunk and make complete fools of ourselfs..ah..Newyear..well even i do the same..but not on this newyear..this newyear was different..the clock struck 12..there were no phone calls..No one called me up to wish me..i dint call up anyone to wish em..Its because this newyears eve i was in silence..The only person i wished this year was myself..and it was amazing..21 years of my life i have lived with myself but not once have i wished myself..So when i did wish myself this year..i felt this bonding with my innerself I felt this strength within..a part of me i dint know..the silent me..this newyear was different..no partying,no boozing..nothing...Yet it was the best newyear..This newyear..I was in the Art of leaving ashram in banglore..I was doing the yes!+ advance course..If any of you have done the Yes!+ course and think that its the best thing that you can do..then think again cause its the second best, yes!+ advance course is the best thing you can do or rather gift yourself..When i first reached the ashram i was like.."my god where am i?What have i done?Why did i register for this course?dont tell me ill be spending my newyear in here".My room was around 4 km away from the main ashram it was a jungle..There was no hot water and i was in banglore for crying out loud..I was pretty sure that i was going to freeze myself to death..so on the very first day which was "supposed" to be a free day i went to the city to meet my friends..I came back at around 8 in the night..and when i went to the reception..i got yelled at..the course had already started and i missed out the first session which was by Bawa..I dint know Bawa then so i was like..big deal..on 28th our course started..and that was the first time i saw dinesh bhaiya..My god he was amazing..all the sessions with him were just plain amazing..he took the course so the whole course was amazing :) ME..I am the kind of guy who cant sit in a place for more that 10 min and guess what,I sat and meditated for 2 and half hours and trust me when i  say this..i actually had an out of body experience..I saw things which  happend miles away from me or on the very next day..and every detail matched..I even did a reasearch on this when i got back to chennai..I saw this guy fall off a ship..this i saw on 31st..read the news article below..

Text size:

Carnival: Employee fell overboard on accident; search continues

Alan Schmadtke | OrlandoSentinel.com Staff

7:53 PM EST, January 1, 2009

The Coast Guard is continuing to search for an employee of Carnival Corp. Lines who fell off one of its cruise ships Thursday shortly after ringing in the New Year.

The man, who has not been identified but who Carnival acknowledged as an off-duty member of its entertainment staff, accidently tumbled off the cruise ship Sensation and into the Atlantic Ocean about 12:50 a.m., 20 miles east of Vero Beach.

Eyewitnesses reported to the Coast Guard that it was a clear accident.

Coast Guard helicopters and patrol boats have searched nearly 1,000 square miles of water and were moving their search in a northerly direction, guard spokesman James Harless told the Orlando Sentinel.

The Sensation helped with the search shortly after the accident, then returned to port. It docked at Port Canaveral about 10 a.m. following a four-day cruise to the Bahamas.

"Our thoughts and prayers are with the young man at this time as well as with his friends and family," a Carnival spokesperson told CFN 13.

Based in Miami, Carnival is the world's biggest cruise line.

I even read the name Carnival written on the ship..I dont have enough words to describe my experience..anyways moving on..we had satsangs every evening and guess who was at the satsang singing and rocking the night?Vikram Hazra A.K.A Vikram bhaiya..he is the best..it was the icing on the cake..ok moving on I think it was on 1st of jan that we broke our silence..and my god..everyone started shouting and screeming..its was fun..I made many new friends form different parts of the country and the world..There was the scottish guy who thought us the scottish version or ringa ringa roses..it was fun.. 

My whole experience in the ashram was fun..Oh and then the sessions with Bawa..my god..they were fun..could not stop laughing..Its now I regret..why did i miss the first session? And on the day that i had to leave..I was upset..I dint want to leave that place..I dint mind waking up at 4 and having a cold water bath..its was fun really..kept me fresh all day..so anyways..to all those people who have not done the advance course..DO IT..

Love devine(A kira and sgt W.O.L.F love story)

Habits..well there are these good habits and there are these bad ones..but when a person quits his bad habits for someone..Thats when you know he is in love..Everyone has their fair share of bad habits and many would have "tried" to quit theirs..But its difficult..There is always this weakness in you that does not allow you to rid yourself of these habits..But a a name, a single name,If the very thought of someone gives you the strength to quit these habits its then you know that you really care for that person and are ready to do anything for that person..Its love..I found that strength in someone...The very thought of that person has helped me rid myself of all my bad habits..when in love you dont expect love in return..You just love..you dont see cast,religion,wealth or even looks cause beauty is just skin deep..You just keep loving the person and make sacrifices..Just keep that person smiling..This has never happend to me..wise words like these coming from me..i never expected this..But this is what love does to you..And its the most amazing feeling..very thought of that person brings smile to your face..Now I see the differnce between Love and lust..Lust..well you get bored after sometime you start expecting things,When you just "like"someone..its easy..just go walk up to that person..flirt a bit and walk home with a girlfriend or a boyfriend[I have done that a hell lot of times(girlfriend only ^_^)]..But when in love its hard..There is always this fear of "what if?"..and love..well..it goes on for ever..you are in a state of bliss..its devine.. Love is not something which can be expressed with words..Love is expressed with feelings.. when in love you just connect with the other person..and yes..I connected.. :) Getting rid of my habbits was just the start.. I am going to love..Love with all my heart..expecting nothing in return.. :)

Mike wrote this letter to Kira when they were in high school..

Note:To those people who dont know Sgt W.O.L.F(mike) and kira are..then you will come to know soon.. ^_^ and I know I should have put this line up long ago cause the post is creating a lot of confusion..